Apple Pie

I haven’t had apple pie in a long time.  To be honest, I don’t like pie very much…there just seems to be so many other desserts out there.

But the last time I had apple pie was probably my grandmothers…which was supreme apple pie (even though I don’t like pie, I did like THAT pie).  I remember how dinner wasn’t over until we had our pie.  I remember how grandpa would always ask for “just a sliver” every time.  Apple pie reminds me of those times.

So, today, when I walked past the student center, I was offered a full apple pie, still warm.  Don’t know how or why I was offered, but it was there, so I accepted.  I have two roommates in my townhouse (dorms are currently being renovated, so townhouse for the time being), and while we have this fantastic living space, the three of us have mostly confined ourselves to our rooms.

Until tonight, with apple pie.  It brought out great conversation, one roommate asked for only a small piece, (“a sliver” I had to think to myself), and it just reminded me a bit of home.

I may start liking apple pie after all.

Arrived

I’ve met about 130 people.

I’ve shared the standard “get to know you” questions with at least 50 of them.

Tomorrow, I will remember the names of perhaps 4 of them.

I’ve eaten, I’ve played, I’ve prayed, I’ve worshiped.

I haven’t studied…yet.

I’m tired of small talk, and yearning for the depth that I know will come with time.

I’m tired, but probably won’t sleep much.

And as I’m writing this…I have one new facebook friend request.  Thanks Brian.  Make that 5 names I’ll remember tomorrow.

All that said, it completely feels like home.  I’m glad I’ve arrived.

Oh…and by Brian, I meant Bryan.  At least it would have sounded the same.

The Three Monks of Tolstoy

“Three Russian monks lived on a faraway island.  Nobody ever went there, but one day their bishop decided to make a pastoral visit.  When he arrived he discovered that the monks didn’t even know the Lord’s Prayer.  So he spent all his time and energy teaching them the “Our Father” and then left, satisfied with his pastoral work.  But when his ship had left the island and was back in the open sea, he suddenly noticed the three hermits walking on the water – in fact, they were running after the ship!  When they reached it they cried, “Dear Father, we have forgotten the prayer you taught us.”  The bishop, overwhelmed by what he was seeing and hearing, said, “But, dear brothers, how then do you pray?”  They answered, “Well, we just say, ‘Dear God, there are three of us and there are three of you, have mercy on us!’”  The bishop, awestruck by their sanctity and simplicity, said, “Go back to your island and be at peace.”

(Henri J. M. Nouwen, The Road to Daybreak: A Spiritual Journey, pg. 50)

Amen.

Headlights (a Candle)

We want to live in a world dominated by headlights, where we expect the next three miles to be clear in front of us. 

The reality, though, is that sometimes we live in a world of candlelight.  Where we really can’t see that far ahead of us.

“If only the next step is clear, take it.” - Amy Carmichael

Identity Struggles…

I read something today:

“Human begins are incapable of knowing how they experience one another.  Because of this basic knowledge gap, we create our own conceptions of others experience us and then substitute these conceptions for reality.  Indeed, we even base our actions and reactions to others upon our projections.  We create an imaginary picture and base all our communication upon this fiction.  But projections are exactly that – projection – and not reality.  Consequently, we spend our lives bridging a fundamental double gap by formulating imaginary projections based on imaginary perceptions.” – (W. Randolph Tate, Biblical Interpretation: An Integrated Approach, 3rd Edition, pg. 203)

I find that quote disturbing, and I find it to be true. If it is true, than it means that we never really understand who we are, because we are living into the projections of what we think others think about us.  It creates a never ending identity struggle.  I’d like to think it wasn’t that way, but I know that project how I think someone else experiences an interaction with me, and of course, once I start to believe those projections are truth, I usually start to find ways to reinforce them (whether good or bad).

What do you think?  Are we ever really able to be “real” with one another? Do we ever fully understand another persons experience of us? Do you think we go around with those projections, which almost forces us to live into the projections we’ve created?  How do we move past that, so that we can fully experience true communion with one another?

I’d love to get some feedback on this.

 

 

All That I Know Is I’m Breathing…

Breathing.

Breathe.

In the hardest moments of my life, sometimes it seems that breathing is all I am capable of doing.  I don’t think I’m the only one.  There are many songs written about breath, breathing, and how sometimes that is all we can do.

Keep Breathing” Ingrid Michaelson; “Breathe In, Breathe Out”, Mat Kearney;  “Just Breathe”, Pearl Jam;…This list could go on and on…

Through the hardest moments of my life, the lyrics of those songs have spoken to me, reminding me to just take each breath.  God breathed life into us (Gen:2)…and sometimes all we can do is draw the strength from the breathe that he offers.

Classes have just started for me, and part of Asbury Seminary’s program is to have a devotional type “reader” that they issue each semester.  The theme for this semester’s reader:  Breath.  You can see the promo for the reader here: I’m pretty pumped about it.  It is so encouraging to me that resources like this are out there.  Even though I’m an online student, and spend little time on campus, things like this foster such an amazing sense of community.  It’s so refreshing and exciting.

So check out the link, and then come and BREATH with me a bit this year.

I Don’t Understand

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11

I was watching a movie today, “The 13th Floor”.  It is one of those kinds of movies that you watch from the beginning, but you really don’t understand what’s happening.  So all you can do is keep watching, until at some point something clicks, or pieces begin to fall together, and the story starts to make a lot more sense.

I’ve been talking to a lot of people lately about things going on in their life.  A lot of them feel like it just doesn’t make sense.  How could the things that are happening, or have happened, ever piece together?

I wish I knew the answer to that question.  How do we find the good…how do we find God in some of the darkest situations?  I was speaking with someone recently, and found myself saying that in my darkest times, I didn’t find God.  It wasn’t until after those times that God really started revealing Himself.  I guess it takes a little bit of time before the light can begin to be shed on the darkness…before those pieces begin to fall back together.

What are your thoughts?  Do I seem way off base?  How do you think God is present in the darkest situations?