4 Years (today)

I’m not sure why today still aches the same way it did 4 years ago. I really can’t believe it’s been 4 years, yet, with all that’s gone on in my life since then, it feels more like 20. However, this day, still seems like only yesterday sometimes.

I was out celebrating with my friends because I had just graduated college and my graduation was the next day when I got the call that grandpa had died. It wasn’t entirely unexpected. I had been expecting the call anytime the past few weeks, but it does seem like his sickness came on very quickly.

The next day the family came, saw me graduate, and helped pack up my apartment so I could move back home.

In all honesty, I don’t remember thinking alot about Grandpa that day. But I think of him often now. And when I think of that day, I always think of him…and usually nothing else.

Grandpa was perhaps the most genuine loving man I knew. He loved, simply to love. Never to gain anything in return. He just loved. He was always present, whether you were five or twenty or seventy years old, when you were with him, he was always with you. I think that’s God’s biggest promise to us…that He is present…which is probably why today still hurts. Grandpa was always present with you…and that points to something so much deeper than the man himself.

Grandpa taught me alot growing up. He taught me how to care for the chickens and the cows. He taught me how to trim trees. How to put up fences. He taught me how to be part of a family. How to mow the lawn, how to give cows their vaccinations…a thousand things…but, I think the most important thing is that he taught me about the presence of God.

Through his presence with me in my life, he taught me that even in this pain, God is present, God is with me…just like Grandpa was.

And there is definitely comfort in that.

Sometimes though, I do just want my Grandpa.

Peace to you Grandpa.